MORE

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Shout out to all my MORE girls! You know who you are! More clothes, more followers, more applications, more date nights, more extra circulars, more everything. I am that girl. I am that girl until I have so much that I can no longer breath and then suddenly- I become the NO girl. No money, no self control, no job, no life, and definitely no quiet time.

At the beginning of each year I buy a new agenda. This year I was extra excited about mine, mainly because it came with cute stickers. I had plans to live up my senior year! Join clubs, work a job, get in the best shape of my life, basically fit everything I hadn’t done the last 3 years into one fall semester. HA. I couldn’t find a job, I didn’t join any clubs, and lets be real, greasy fries>skinny thighs. But all of these plans were carefully mapped out in my agenda and I had ultimately just let myself down.

A couple years back I went through what felt like a deep state of depression. Here I was at this amazing University- the school of my dreams, and I absolutely hated it. I couldn’t keep up with my peers and felt like I was failing everyone around me. The times I did accomplish something, it was never enough- I needed MORE. I desperately wanted to be the best at something, anything! My life wasn’t measuring up to enough, I wasn’t enough, I wanted to be more.

Notice a trend? MORE is not always the key to happiness. I heard a sermon once that talked about living in the “Land or ER”. This is a land where everyone around you is smartER, fastER, prettiER. Whats taken me many years and many disappointing adgenas, is that chasing after earthly things like this is like chasing after the wind. I don’t want to live in the land of ER!!

But right now I am in one of the most challenging times of my life. My college days are wrapping up and the real world is coming in hot. I speak for the entire senior class at UGA when I say- we are scared!! Here we are, living in the most competitive times in the job force history. We have spent the last four years searching for MORE to put on our resumes, and now, come march… theres not much MORE we can do. We, I, wake up everyday wondering if I did enough. In a moment of panic, a wise person once said to me- “Live with your palms up and open to what the Lord wants you to receive.” In other words, keep your head up, keep your eyes open, do you part! But trust HIM! Trust that you are more than ENOUGH for his plan. In a time when there is nothing MORE you can do, BE CONFIDENT in his love and his plan rather than whats written on your resume. HE will never disappoint you and everything on HIS agenda is coming, and let me tell you its coming in hot. Be patient, be ready, be palm up, and quit living in the land of ER as a more girl.

Life lessons about following instructions

If you refer to my “about me” page, you will read that I am not writer, nor an english major. I am actually a business marketing major at UGA. Six years ago if you were to tell me that was going to be a business major at the University of Georgia I would have laughed in your face. Thats because school has never been “my thing”. I made, and continue to make, decent grades but with those grades comes a decent amount of anxiety. Several times a week I will wake up in the middle of the night, fearful that I have forgotten to submit something correctly, or submit something at all. Usually I log onto my ELC, squint to see the screen without my glasses, realize everything is fine, and go back to sleep. Not tonight!

Pause. Have you ever found a recipe online that just looks too good not to try immediately? Now I am not a cook… but I am the queen of pinterest so theres that. Have you ever gotten half way through the recipe and realize you were supposed to mix the wet ingredients separate from the dry ingredients but you didn’t know that until it was to late because you didn’t read the instructions from start to finish at the beginning? Me either….

Anyway, back to what I was saying… To my surprise, I severely messed up… and with my very first assignment! My social Media Marketing class was asked to begin a blog. Easy, done. We were to submit our first post and comment on another existing post. Easier, submit! What I failed to realized until this very moment was our posts had to be about social media marketing…. (who woulda guessed it?) So now it is 12am and I am sitting in my bed thinking about HOW I am going to relate my previous “Christmas Cruise” post in a post about social media marketing before 3:30pm….. I guess we will find out tomorrow considering this post was supposed to turn into an idea…

Note to self: read the instructions all the way through…. ALL THE TIME.

PS. even in moments like this, moments of stress and “I don’t know how to make this happen”. Remember that it is just school, just an assignment, just game, just a break up. Life goes on and I know I will get it done. That is why I am choosing to set my alarm extra early and go to sleep in peace. That is why I am choosing to Thank God for today, for his grace, and for that tiny reminder. 

Christmas Cruise

Have you ever seen the movie Christmas with the Kranks? If you haven’t, check it out. Its no “Christmas Vacation” but its one of the funniest Christmas movies out there. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=riM5fByDteY. Anyway, this was my life… My family tried to SKIP Christmas!! Now this was a very unexpected decision. The Bitzer’s have strict Christmas traditions that we usually take very seriously. If I sound like i had an ungrateful attitude, I did… and it gets worse.  My parents decision to go on this Christmas adventure was based on my grandparents love to travel and diminishing health. My mom’s mother has Alzheimers and her father is physically struggling severely. We arent given tomorrow and my parents decided it was important to make this Christmas extra special for my grandparents. So while I was not “excited” for the cruise, I agreed with them and did my best to change my attitude. In the movie, the Kranks didn’t quite succeed in skipping Christmas, and the Bitzer’s didnt either (more on that below)! However, we did go on the cruise…

As you can tell… We had a great time. There were stressful moments, but that’s part of being a family. This cruise reminded me of something very important. Christmas is not about the traditions, or the  gifts, or the parties. Its about the birth of Jesus Christ our savior and his unspeakable grace. And that in itself can be celebrated at anytime in any place! Christmas is about giving yourself to others, in any way, shape, or form. So no, we did not skip Christmas. If anything, we were able to recognize the Lords sovereignty more easily through the quality time we spent with each other in some of the most beautiful places on earth.  Don’t get me wrong, the Christmas season is one of my very favorites, and I did miss pieces of it! However, we don’t always realize how it can affect us negatively. Away from wifi, E news, and the Christmas morning comparison trap of Instagram, I felt incredibly full. Full of truth, encouragement, and of course frozen yogurt each and everyday. While we may not opt to travel over the holiday again, I am forever grateful for the seven days we spent celebrating each other and more importantly our Lord Jesus.

Fall is in the Air

October: one of my very favorite months! Full of football, pumpkin, sweaters that hide my lack of motivation in the gym and Halloween costumes that definitely do not, and days like today. Today is what I like to call “A day of rest”. And no, today is not Sunday it is Tuesday. And Yes, I have class, 4 of them. But sometimes you need a break, a day to sit in bed, read, and be peaceful. These days are especially needed in October. 31 beautiful shades of red and yellow chaos, that is what October really is.

Test on Thursday, Ole Miss on Friday, Big/Little tonight (probably need to buy something for that?), Work on Wednesday, Bible study Wednesday, Auburn next weekend, Paper due next Monday, etc. etc. etc. THE LIST GOES ON! And on top of that there is Spring Break to book, a body take care of, and an Instagram to make pretty for all of my 1100 “friends”. Life on October 5 has become a balancing act of being a good friend, good daughter, good Christian, good student, and last but (probably) least, good to myself. 5 days in and I have already let the chaos settle in and take control of my world. 5 days in and I have let the chaos sweep away my confidence, pile on my jealousy, and break down the bridge between Jesus and me.

October is a month of comparison. Who did better on midterms? Which team won on Saturday? Who looks better in their minnie mouse costume? I recently went into the hair salon for highlights and walked out with GRAY blonde hair. I hate it. All weekend long I was embarrassed to take pictures because I was scared people would begin to compare me to my previous, long golden blonde hair self. I let it consume my thoughts.

October is also a month of jealousy. Did you know that October is the month with the least % of rainfall? You know what that means… Wedding Season! If you are anything like me you cannot log onto face book with out being bombarded with beautiful lake front images and white dresses. As much as I want to be happy for their happily ever after, jealousy takes over.

We have all been there. Your month might not be October; it might be Christmas or right before spring break. A period of time where you cant keep up with your own calendar, let alone your face book news feed. What’s funny is that the Lord understands! It says in Exodus 34 that he is a *jealous* God! His October is whenever we let the chaos take us away from him. He is jealous when we spend more time gossiping then praying and he is jealous when let Satan take over our minds. So take a day of rest, regroup and reconsider where your eyes are looking. Are they looking at everyone around you? Or are your eyes looking up at the Great Lord in Heaven, the jealous God that loves my gray tinted hair!

John 3:30 “He must become greater, I must become less”

Colossians 3: 1-2 “Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things”

Exodus 34:14 “Do not worship any other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a Jealous God”

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Purpose

As I was driving home from Church yesterday a familiar song came on the radio. As I sang along to the words I received a slight feeling a reassurance from an unexpected line. The words are, “Love is the answer at least to most of the questions in my heart…Like why are we here? And where do we go? And how come its so hard?”. This Jack Johnson song, “Better Together”, is a catchy and cute love song but I was drawn to the deeper meaning within the words. The past year and a half I have struggled with these exact questions. What is my purpose? What does this place have to do with my purpose? And am I the only one feeling this way? These lyrics made me think…Maybe my purpose at this moment is simply to love the people around me. To love whole heartedly and unselfishly is so much more powerful then the ability to “land the job” or make straight A’s. I challenged myself to shift my attention towards loving others greater than I love myself. As I dabbled back and forth about getting a blog for some time, this simple reminder from good ol’ Jack Johnson confirmed my thoughts. It was time. I hope to use this page to guide my heart, and the hearts of those reading,to the bliss we will receive when we open our eyes to the simple reminders of encouragement that God gives us every day.

Colossians 3:14 “Put on Love”

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